Top 100 Random Reddit Shower Thoughts

1. Taking into consideration how big the universe is there has to be a penis shaped asteroid just floating around somewhere in space

2. Vegans use plants and make them taste like animals, but no one uses animals to make them taste like plants

3. From some other planet, we could definitely observe a dick-shaped constellation.

4. The friendzone gets talked about a lot but what hurts is finding out a dear friend was actually just pretending all along so he could fuck you

5. People don't pretend to be depressed, they pretend to be happy.

6. Onlyfans is farm to table porn.

7. Rich kids are usually good looking because old rich men can easily attract good looking women

8. Mermaids probably wouldn’t need bras because the buoyancy in the ocean would support their breasts.

9. We never fully appreciate the ability to breathe through our mouth until we have a cold

10. Mermaids are said to have the bottom half of a fish, the tail of a fish runs ventral to dorsal (front to back), where mermaids have a tail that runs left to right, like a porpoise, which is not a fish.

11. Comparing dick sizes could only be acceptable if we could grow it like any other muscle in the body.

12. Few things are more frustrating than a pen that works perfectly fine on one area of a paper and not at all on another spot of the same paper.

13. If people could respawn, cartels and governments would practice death loop torture until they get what they want.

14. Pretending to be busy is actually more tiring than being busy

15. We are already in the 2020s, but if someone says 20s, it is implied that they are talking about the 1920s.

16. Life could be worse, milk could have pulp.

17. If there was a competition for the laziest person ever, the true winner wouldn't join.

18. Buying NFTs is the digital version of buying stars.

19. 'Dyslexia' is unnecessarily hard to spell.

20. People who like double penetration are not tops or bottoms, they are middles.

21. The Hospital you were born at is the only place that you've ever come out of, without entering

22. Cartoon pizza has no business looking so delicious.

23. FilthyFrank was just Joji's Bizarre Adventure

24. Every single one of you is part of an unbroken line of successful procreation that has been taking place since the beginning of life on earth.

25. You have never directly seen your own neck, and you likely never will.

26. Not a single one of your ancestors died a virgin

27. Saying sweet dreams impiles, there's hot dreams, salty dreams, and savory dreams.

28. Wrestlers must be less terrified dreaming about being in their underwear in public compared to the average person

29. A desert is half a beach.

30. When you walk forward in a train, you are faster than the train.

31. Not everyone with tattoos trashy, but almost every trashy person has tattoos

32. One day Each one of us burned our last CD without knowing it was the last.

33. The skin on our lips is the same type that is on our buttholes, that being said if you can easily peel lip skin you can technically peel butthole skin the same way.

34. glassblowing is actually a blow job

35. There is no point in using a clean needle or alcohol swab for a lethal injection

36. If you have your own wiki page, you have either succeeded In life, or messed up entirely.

37. The most expensive vehicle you can ride in is an Ambulance

38. Once you start organizing pennies into rolls you quickly realize you could make more money doing just about anything else.

39. Dogs protected us from large threats (predators), while cats protected us from small threats (pests)

40. The number of people older than you never increases, only decreases

41. Betty White actually hit 100 lunar years when she was 97.02

42. A yawn is a silent scream for coffee.

43. Someone out there is probably fluent in wingdings.

44. 2050 is closer than 1990

45. Most people worrying about chips being inserted in them already carry devices with chips on them to track their every move and communication.

46. Technically, you never skip breakfast

47. People living in 4022 will have pictures and videos of us living 2000 years previously

48. Adam and Eve didn't have belly buttons

49. The pool in the titanic is still filled with water

50. Fat dogs aren’t cute and fawning over them promotes shitty ownership

51. Marine animals probably think we are as stupid for drowning as we think marine animals are for beaching themselves.

52. Being young is about caring too much about everything... and being old is not giving a shit about anything.

53. If deepfakes become advanced enough, Game of Thrones could feasibly be remade from Season 7 onwards

54. Calling old people ‘dinosaurs’ as an insult really has the opposite effect because dinosaurs are extremely cool

55. For all you know, you could have a stalker that’s really good at not getting caught.

56. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken.

57. Jack Black always passes the vibe check

58. Most things in our world were designed by people who are no longer alive. We only have the privilege of standing on their shoulders of knowledge only because future generations will have the same.

59. The voice in your head never needs to take a breath.

60. Farts are the moans and screams of trapped poo.

61. If you die in your sleep and had an alarm set, the alarm will go off until you are found.

62. Life has no real meaning. That’s good for some people and bad for others.

63. The spiders that you find in your room probably wonder why their room mate is going crazy for no reason.

64. If a game designer hires a translator for their game, they will have no way of knowing if the translator did a good job or not.

65. Pop up ads are the dick pics of the marketing world. Suddenly there, hard to stop them, and completely unhelpful in selling the product.

66. Humans may evolve so that unhealthy food doesn't have as much of a bad effect.

67. It feels like adult life consists mostly of moving things from one container to another

68. We are all in a queue to die, but don’t know our number in line.

69. Genie rules might just be rules that were put in place by someone who previously found the genie and used a wish to put the rule in place.

70. Maybe the heart symbol is meant to represent two anatomical correct hearts that are combined and by extension the broken heart symbol is those two hearts separated

71. DC is to marvel as digimon was to Pokémon

72. No one really talks about dental care in sci-Fi movies.

73. If the intestinal tract is ~15 feet and food takes ~44 hours to move completely through your body, then food travels at ~0.0000645661 mph inside of us.

74. A bullet does its job only when it is fired

75. Sex is not a basic need because we can survive without it, but if everyone stops having sex then mankind won’t survive

76. Things last longer when you are running out of them.

77. Mermaids are the centaurs of fish.

78. You could go to sleep tonight and wake up with a new memory that you could have for the rest of your life

79. Most gas station underwear purchases are likely by people who shat themselves during their journey.

80. If you’re standing on sand you’re either near lots of water or no water

81. To crabs, we are the ones that walk sideways

82. Simple but repetitive work is often less enjoyable than actually difficult work, ironically.

83. We are the only species who have to pay to live on earth

84. The line between overweight and obese is thin.

85. Every choice you make, you create an alternate timeline

86. Humans have the same eyes:legs ratio as a spider.

87. You could be arguing anonymously on the internet with family/friends you know in real life, and not know a thing

88. Taking the population of humanity which is 7.8 billion, there are around 21 million birthday parties a day on average. Seeing how few parties a year we attend really puts the population number in a different light.

89. No one can truly be unbiased. Choosing to be unbiased is being biased against bias.

90. When helmet technology got better, the amount of head injuries for soldiers probably also went up since they could survive more headshots

91. People shit on fast food cooks but the odds are there are many who take great pride in what they do there and you’d tell the difference.

92. You might be immortal but you just don't know yet.

93. Someone somewhere made the decision to go to school for a decade just to look at buttholes all day

94. There’s a chance that alphabet soup would have a full conversation with you on a spoon

95. Hide and seek used to teach important survival skills.

96. There are very few original movie titles that also work as a title for the porn version.

97. The concept of dying of dehydration whilst stranded at sea is so perfectly ironic it’s laughable.

98. Maybe some people receive different Google search results than others and that’s why they believe things that are not true. Maybe it’s all an experiment…

99. Many men will never understand how it feels to be disproportionately judged for their physical attractiveness as many of them never received any compliments in their entire life

100. Saw dust is actually wood dust

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