Top 100 Random Reddit Shower Thoughts

1. The more horny you are, the more likely you are to do things that you would otherwise find disgusting.

2. The difference between waiting 3 seconds and 9 seconds isn’t a big deal… unless your waiting for your monitors to turn back on after a graphics card update.

3. Some people seek for sex scene in normal movies while seeking for plot in porn movies.

4. Psychiatrists are technically human tech support

5. Getting older feels kind of like losing super powers that you never knew you had

6. Since no-one in the restaurant is interested in what's on your plate, it's weird that you think anyone on social media might be

7. One of the saddest things about Ted Nugent is that he's never done drugs or alcohol. Every decision he's ever made in life and every thing that he's ever said, he was stone cold sober.

8. Anne Frank would probably flip if she knew what was being done with her diary.

9. There is comfort in meaninglessness. The fact that one day we all will be forgotten motes of dust gives us the freedom to do as we wish, knowing all will be forgotten, or forgiven, by the grand tale of existence sooner or later.

10. Nothing is more worrying Than hearing a crunch in your mouth While eating a soft food

11. X is the Roman numeral for 10, because it is two V's joined together.

12. Pretending to be homeless and collecting money from strangers is being a paid actor.

13. Nothing makes you realize how little control you have in life more than accidentally shitting yourself when you didn’t even know you had to shit

14. People worry about cashiers judging them for the items they buy, yet they're probably just too incredibly bored to give a fuck.

15. Eating ass is more socially acceptable than sharing toothbrushes.

16. At some point in your life you’ve probably had a normal conversation with someone who was buttplugging.

17. We find it adorable when animals behave like humans but not the other way around

18. If you water a water, it grows.

19. On their daily way to work, people who live in big cities might see more other people than people living in a small villages do in an entire year.

20. When you watch a movie, you’re watching people do their jobs.

21. Naming the most popular cartoon city 'Bikini Bottom' was the greatest heist in dad joke history.

22. The first humans sent on a voyage to another solar system in a spaceship might be greeted by other humans sent later using faster spaceships.

23. You know rich people are cheap because they are always shown fanning themselves with money instead of turning on the A/C.

24. People on some planet in Andromeda are probably creating high quality renders of the Milky Way and wondering if there are any intelligent life there.

25. Breakfast cereal manufacturers must think we don't want resealable bags.

26. We're weirded out by hairless mammals even though humans by comparison are exceptionally more hairless than most mammals

27. People have to play more golf to get better to play less golf.

28. There is no way a fish could make contact with fire without human intervention

29. A lot of relationships would have worked out if only people learned how to compromise and actually communicate with one another.

30. A hotdog is closer to a taco than a sandwich.

31. People on the internet complaining about people seeking attention on the internet, are people seeking attention on the internet.

32. One of the most satisfying moments as an adult is perfectly recreating a comfort food from your childhood

33. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result isn't insanity... it's practice.

34. Congratulating someone for becoming an aunt/uncle is ridiculous, considering they had no part in it or responsibility for it.

35. Even the smallest, most insignificant discoveries made by astronomers are astronomical discoveries.

36. For the average person, there's a chance that after your life, a fictional character will have made more of a real world impact than you.

37. If ghosts exist, there is a good chance there are probably gay ghosts out there whose main goal is to terrorize homophobes

38. A buttplug with a whistle

39. You might be a lot closer to your deathday than you are to your birthday.

40. Every book seems to be a New York Times bestseller.

41. Crabs probably think that humans walk sideways.

42. Misinformation is much easier to access because reliable sources usually have paywalls

43. The fastest way to become a grandparent is to adopt a teen mom.

44. If people didn’t have to wear shirts people would start working out a lot more

45. Every year there are millions of cartons of milk printed with your birthday as an expiration date.

46. There are lots of child proof caps on medicines and such but there aren’t any on strong cleaning chemicals like bleach

47. Tattoos are bumper stickers for human bodies

48. Graveyards are probably not that haunted because most of the people buried there didn't die there

49. A bumper on a car is meant to get bumped, but if you bump a bumper people get upset about it.

50. The concept of the heII is based on some dude's fanfiction and not on any scripture

51. Bruce campbell is the most A list B list star out there

52. All doors are push doors if you try hard enough.

53. Dinosaurs were around so long that T-Rexs could have been digging up Jurassic fossils.

54. Generally, the more extremist someone is, the more they want to blame a group for their personal failures.

55. The crossbreed of a chicken and a turkey is a Cock Gobbler.

56. Nothing is on fire, fire is on things

57. A lot of good decisions throughout history probably came about because of post-nut clarity.

58. When you excitedly explain the premise of the TV classic, Lost, to someone who hasn’t ever seen the show, you sound like a complete moron, especially after you mention the smoke monster.

59. Grounding kids is no longer punishment, forcing them to go play outside is

60. Some dogs are better trained to cross streets than some humans

61. If you can’t afford a passport, are denied one or it’s been revoked you’re basically a hostage within your own country

62. People don’t think to themselves in the same voice that you associate with them

63. A student's recess from class is also a teacher's recess from students

64. No household object had a better second act than Pipe Cleaner. Pipes not widely used anymore? BAM, arts and crafts!

65. An AI could exist and manipulate the news to deny its existence

66. Strange, improbable events happen so often that we created a word for it: Coincidences.

67. Being more interested and obsessed with efficiency and practicality than beauty, elegance or humanity has made the world an uglier, colder, more soulless and soul sucking place to live in

68. It’s astronomically improbable that you were not only born, but born in an era where you are nearly guaranteed basic necessities, longevity, and a fulfilling life…but somehow society is still bullshit and unfair.

69. The only difference between being drunk and being high is that the first one is more socially acceptable

70. 8 Billion people will be dead in the next one hundred years and we can't do anything about it

71. With the existence of sex toys, sex is pay to win to a certain extent.

72. Most people only die once.

73. Many who sought the Fountain of Youth never did grow old, dying along the way.

74. Porn can be both a marital helper and a marital destroyer.

75. There is a point where tweezers become tongs, but that point will never be defined.

76. denial is comfortable: acceptance is not

77. It’s a travesty that the word acronym isn’t an acronym

78. A piano is a stringed percussion instrument.

79. If a person walked in one direction forever he could walk east or west forever. If walking north or south, the cardinal direction will change after passing the north/South Pole

80. As you go back in your family history, the number of people goes up (2 parents, 4 grandparents etc) but past a certain point it will begin to go down again.

81. The flash can make his penis a vibrator

82. google was way better when it was new

83. We talk about the mystery of deep-sea creatures a lot, but maybe the real mystery is the deep-earth creatures

84. Out of all battles recorded in human history, it is possible that at least one of them was fake and didn't happen

85. If you invest in a real estate fund, you could unknowingly invest in the building where you live then raise your own rent or even evict yourself.

86. Everyone has a criminal history but only some people have a criminal record

87. Eventually the way we speak will be viewed as fancy-talk

88. It’s pretty random and fortunate that water happens to be colorless and translucent.

89. Heaven might be a place on Earth, but so is hell.

90. It’s funny that daydreaming can make it hard to fall asleep.

91. A broken clock is correct 2 seconds a day

92. NBA arenas are in cities so *every* shot is from downtown.

93. The most expensive sneakers are pre-owned.

94. Insecticide companies must keep a bunch of bugs somewhere in their facilities to test their products

95. You can blink while your eyes are closed!

96. No one can verify what you dreamt. Not even yoursel

97. Razors with scented handles that are generally marketed towards females are entirely pointless.

98. 100 Years ago, the rich had cars and the poor had horses.

99. Not many people have skeletons in their closets, but most people probably have exoskeletons in their closet because of spiders and other insects.

100. The reason why 4 leafed clovers are so rare is probably that they rarely survive before getting plucked by someone

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