Top 100 Random Reddit Shower Thoughts

1. You don’t realize how fat you are until you see a picture you didn’t know you were in.

2. Going bald wouldn’t be nearly as bad if people lost their hair from the sides more than the top

3. You know we have hit a technological wall with cell phone improvements when the only thing Apple pitches about their new phone is that it's made of Titanium.

4. Porn is the only thing that is in extremely high demand and also free

5. We’re living in the 20’s of the 2000’s. We’re going to look as primitive by the 2090’s as the people of the 1920’s looked in the 1990’s.

6. It's weird how we've never seen a dinosaur ghost, even though billions of them died in very gruesome ways.

7. Almost all porn sites are financed by ads for other porn sites. They are snowballing.

8. Some people love zoos because they love animals. Some people hate zoos because they love animals.

9. The reason hairlessness is the western standard of beauty is because it’s hard to sculpt body hair

10. The Truman Show must have cut to commercial break a lot during Truman's teenage years.

11. The three musketeers are always depicted using swords instead of, you know, muskets

12. At one point one of the most popular songs on radio was about Justin Timberlake wanting to be chained up and whipped by a mistress

13. The teeth that fell out of your mouth during childhood are still out there somewhere

14. The word 'baby' in songs almost never refers to an actual baby

15. The potentially best Formula 1 pilot might be so poor that they never even get the chance to drive a car.

16. When you're balls deep in a pool you're actually not very deep in the pool.

17. Your collection will just end up being a burden to whoever has to deal with your stuff after you die.

18. The number of people born in the same year as you is always decreasing

19. Amongst the other unrealistic things about Batman, one is his ability to visit criminals in jail dressed like Batman while the jail guards trust that he is the real Batman.

20. For some reason it feels like a 7/10 rating is average

21. You can bowl 22 strikes in a row and not get a 300 game

22. A lot of people don't think teaching history is important, but witnessing an entire generation of people who aren't aware of historic facts and then form an opinion based on nothing more than propaganda and uninformed mouthpieces, makes you realize how truly necessary it is.

23. Gengis Khan likely had an STD

24. There are a bunch of people out there who unknowingly played Counter-Strike with Osama Bin Laden

25. No one remembers your embarassing experiences as much as you, because other people have their own embarassing experiences to remember.

26. Survivor and Alone make it extremely clear that you can easily lose a lot of weight in a month or two.

27. You can tell a lot about a person based on what part of their pants wear out first.

28. Build a reverse microscope so little bacteria guys can see us clearly

29. Bald People cut their hair way more often than non bald people

30. Pineapples have silently become one of the most constantly available, affordable fruit, despite the fact that they're tropical and take an average of 2-3 years to fully mature.

31. It usually isn't the wealth of the rich that people are angry about. It is how they live by other rules because of it.

32. Most of a gym’s expenses are paid by people that don’t actually go to the gym.

33. We will not hear the end of kids born in gen alpha calling themselves alpha males when they grow up.

34. No one's ever surprised to learn you're right handed

35. Male pornstars sometimes use porn to get aroused enough to be involved in making the porn they’re in

36. The world is covered in shit

37. Stupid people use complex terms in an attempt to sound smart.

38. The only thing worse than no internet, is slow internet.

39. You can eat a bunch of bananas without eating a bunch of bananas, but you can't eat a bunch of bananas without eating a bunch of bananas

40. In the near future we might see a humiliation fetish where people ask to be misgendered for pleasure

41. 1 guy in a friend group will attend all his friends funerals but none of them will attend his.

42. Every kid is an AV nerd nowadays.

43. After we’re all long gone, it’ll be commonplace to open Google and see things nearly or over 100 years old.

44. A lesbian’s bedroom is technically a no man’s land

45. Our ancestors actually did hunt and got hunted by dinosaurs, they were just not human/apes yet or possibly not even mammals.

46. Somebody out there is the greatest masturbator in the world, and no one will ever know who it is

47. Contrary to video games, most people fighting in real life don't jump at all in any fight.

48. Most stupid thoughts are the result of lazy thinking not low IQ

49. The spectrum of human efficacy is insane. Some people do so so much and some people can barely do anything at all.

50. Social Media is proof more than ever that adults truly don’t ‘grow up’

51. A perfect human is almost a robot while a perfect robot is almost human.

52. People only separate the Art from the Artist when the Artist does something they don't like

53. The older you are, the harder it is to buy you presents.

54. You never hear of the ‘Better Business Bureau’ outside of people threatening to contact them.

55. In Star Wars, it is completely impossible for a person to be universally attractive

56. It's not uncommon for drive thru ATMs to have braille on them

57. One day you will tell your children about how you had to turn a usb cable 3 times before it plugged in

58. There are signs that indicate that only dogs guiding blind people are allowed in a place. However, these signs cannot be seen by either the dogs or the blind.

59. You have never owned a mirror that hasn't been used before.

60. We clean our teeth in nearly the same way we clean toilets.

61. Honey is the tastiest of animal's vomit

62. The quality of the 'employee restroom' tends to be a good litmus test on how much employees are valued.

63. It is weird how holograms in the future are always portrayed with terrible audio quality in pop media.

64. Nothing is stopping you from using megagramm instead of tonne.

65. Like fingerprints, your butthole has a distinctly unique pattern.

66. It's harder to be goth in a tropical country

67. You blow harder than you suck

68. Noone prepares you for how difficult cutting your toenails becomes as you age.

69. When you clean out your dryer's lint filter, you are slowly throwing your clothes away.

70. A one-cent tip is worse than no tip.

71. No one will be able to understand you completely. EVER.

72. In the fast food industry, Chicken Fingers are a lie.

73. There’s a tiny, but still nonzero chance, that humans coevolved somewhere in Andromeda, and they don’t know we exist.

74. Those Youtuber commentors who comment the full lyrics under a song aren't thanked enough

75. The kids who still try the dark porches on Halloween are future salesmen.

76. The sounds people make on a working rollercoaster and on a malfunctioning one are the same.

77. There are so many dead people's accounts on social media databases that history will completely transform into data science.

78. Lonely people must playact having a social life to attract people to actually be capable of having a social life

79. Having a perfectionist mindset without the perfectionist skill is maddening.

80. AI transcription has really put a kink in the closed captioning profession.

81. Most paid leaves are paid for by coworkers, not the employer.

82. It’s more efficient to brush your teeth in the shower.

83. We have laws because morality is subjective.

84. A lot of Chuck Norris jokes are about how he doesn't need weapons because his strength is enough to defend himself, which is ironic because the actual Chuck Norris is an outspoken gun rights activist.

85. Have you ever reheated french fries and enjoyed them? No matter what you do to them they all have that same dry quality. Maybe french fries have an unstable existence, and the end goal is to just not.

86. You know the economy is bad when Eminem starts selling pasta sauce

87. Eating vegetables, smoking tobacco and snorting dried opium is a 100% plant-based diet

88. You're mostly made of water, protein, and calcium. You're a healthful meal.

89. Essential oils are the least essential kinds of oils

90. Boiled milk and vinegar mixed together sounds disgusting, but mozzarela cheese tastes awesome

91. Trick or treat is one of the only acceptable forma of blackmail

92. Someone invented knock-knock jokes and had to teach the whole world the set-up.

93. Doorbell cameras have ruined the game of ding-dong-ditch.

94. Future histprians are gonna dig up Disneyland and theorize a bizzare mouse worshipping kingdom.

95. You can’t describe something as pretentious without sounding pretentious yourself.

96. Australians and Texans are remarkably similar.

97. As a kid we are always told how strong of a word hate is. But never how strong of a word love is.

98. Despite every single bag being thoroughly x-rayed, we don’t have any trust with people leaving bags behind in the airport

99. As the Earth rotates, a continuous wave of morning erections sweeps across the globe, marking the natural rhythm of a day unfolding.

100. When two people have a falling out its a breakup, when you have a falling out with yourself its a breakdown

---