It’s likely that at least one person’s Tinder date never showed up because they died first, but the person just thinks they got ghosted
Men see women's buttholes way more than women see men's buttholes.
Since spaceships aren’t available to everyone yet, the golden age of piracy hasn’t happened
We’re very fortunate that the muscles in our hearts don’t get tired the same way the rest of our muscles do
Step-sister porn is everywhere, but you never see any adopted-sister porn.
The people who are out and about strolling in the city on weekday mornings without having to worry about work have won the game of life in our capitalist society.
Somehow, after hundreds of years, we still have not found a way to successfully educate children without them experiencing extreme stress.
The only good thing about explosive diarrhea is the cathartic feeling of complete emptyness inside your gut after it's all over.
Trees are so effective at creating shade because any sunlight that gets through is energy they're missing out on
After the Titanic completely rusts away there will definitely be conspiracy theories that it never really existed
It's weird that alcoholics anonymous starts with everyone introducing themselves
Even in porn, teachers make so little that they require a second job
The human body is amazing. You can live a relatively normal life with 4 organs missing half your digestive track and up to half a brain as well!
The Purge wouldn’t even be interesting. In reality we’d all hunker down while rich people insider trade a little more egregiously.
Science fiction enabled future generations to be nostalgic about things that didn't end up happening.
At some point of detail a drawing of a penis goes from graffiti to actual porn
Difficult times doesn't create strong people. Only strong people are left after difficult times.
You'd think at some point we'd have adapted to find the sound of snoring relaxing.
Most people will go through their whole life without ever directly looking at their anus.
Odds are that many nonjudgmental people are not enlightened or kind, but just don't care.
The comfort you feel from suddenly realizing that the grief you hold is love, only in a new form.
Impressing a baby feels a lot better than impressing your peers.
As AI gets better, proving you are human will only get harder
Your center of gravity must shift slightly when you have an erection
Baking bread from scratch from the plant to a finished loaf is a really long and complicated process and yet in almost every culture humans have had the idea of making some form of bread.
As evidenced by the refusal to put an equal number of each respective product in their packaging, one can only assume there is a widespread conspiracy to keep consumers in an endless cycle of purchasing hot dogs and buns when one or the other runs out.
Over the course of history we have gone from banging rocks together to banging subatomic particles together
Power without knowledge is dangerous but knowledge without power is straight up frustrating.
There’s a thin line between witty and bullying when being sarcastic
Showers are under a constant deluge of water and various cleansers, yet they always need to be cleaned.
Social media isn't bad or unhealthy, it's just corporations using exploitative algorithms that makes it so.
The fact that, an object can, just by having enormous mass, attracts other objects towards itself without using any energy, is crazy.
Privacy is a complicated issue. Offline, we want locks on our doors to prevent people from looking through our stuff, and yet, when we’re online, we’re all too willing to give out our personal information to governments and corporations.
The quality of peasant food has really gone down hill in the past century
Ai generated art is a lot like our dreams… you get the general idea but the small details are slightly off
We've already started leaving our useless stuff on other planets.
Paul McCartney has likely outlived the majority of people who pushed the 'Paul is Dead' conspiracy theory
Ancient humans' decision to wear shoes directly resulted in modern humans' having feet too weak to survive without shoes.
Songbirds don't understand how much joy they bring humans by trying to get laid.
Somewhere along the line we just started accepting $300 for a cooler was a good buy
We're taught to study and work hard, but not to find joy in them. If we focused more on enjoying the journey, life wouldn't feel so difficult
You can never truly own propery. The authorities will evict you if you ever stop paying the govt.
Language is both our greatest tool for communication and our biggest barrier to understanding each other.
In the future, instead of passing down photo albums and recipe books, it will be USB sticks and Cloud passwords.
Dreams prove that the imagination is strong enough to mimic all 5 senses even when none of them are being used.
You can't wish from a genie to kill somebody, but you can wish for them to be teleported a mile up in the air or in the middle of the ocean
Many noises are changing, but the click of seatbelt buckles is here to stay
For everyone who hates the word moist, succulent is a better alternative.
Confidence is sometimes just gaslighting yourself really, really well.
At some point in the future there will be more social media accounts of dead people than the living
Money is a tool, not a measure of success. When money becomes a person's identity, they risk losing everything that truly matters in life.
The college degree is worth more than the knowledge you’ve obtained at college.
Many people use cotton swabs to clean their ears know that its bad for them but still do just because it feels good.
Health insurance never gets better. It only gets slowly worse every year.
We spend all day listening to the noises that come out of the hole at one end of the digestive system, but we get very embarrassed if anybody hears a single sound come from the hole at the other end.
The last person alive will be the least known historical character.
People will wake up more than 10,000 times and still will not get used to it
Fire hydrants are actually a pretty incredible piece of infrastructure when you take a second to think about it.
Good guys are more forgettable than the bad guys because wholesomeness is a normal thing we'd expect from the average person.
After a certain point the number of people who associate static on the tv with horror movies only will surpass the people who know static from bad reception and having to fiddle with the antenna.
People with perfect pitch can't help knowing what key is their fart
Robots move increasingly more human like as technology progresses but the robot dance is forever stuck in the 80s.
Much has been made about Sir Mix-a-Lot's liking of big butts, but more notable is the fact that he's incapable of lying
Groceries come into a house through a door and come out of a house through a pipe
In modern times it's totally normal (expected even) to stand 2 feet away from another person and pretend they don't exist
We're all working our ass off everyday just to make rich people more richer.
Biggest drawback for people that are asked to return to the office is that during remote-work they got used to farting at the desk without any worries.
Recess, the animated series, was just a reboot of the A-Team made for kids
Everyone wants to record concerts with their phones, but rarely ever do they want to watch the vids afterward.
When you look at haircuts from the 60s/70s/80s, it sometimes feels like hair grew differently back then…
There are people who have known only one Elder Scrolls game since elementary school.
There's 364/365 chance of being right when you wish someone a belated happy birthday.
The average man has seen significantly more urine than the average woman.
There are people who don't know you can whistle and hum simultaneously.
The price of a picture is the moment you’re trying to capture.
The poor shmuck that just happens to write like chat gpt is screwed
Drinking icy water burns calories. Eating celery burns calories. Eating frozen celery burns the most calories.
Video games are so enthralling because every bit of information you gain serves a purpose unlike in life
The human brain is a decidedly odd machine, often prone to glitches, malfunctions, and internal errors. However, within the confines of that chaos, something intriguing occasionally occurs. A seemingly mundane detail about the world will suddenly become more interesting, having been viewed from a slightly different perspective than usual. This sort of miniature epiphany is called a shower thought. "Shower thought" is a loose term that applies to the types of thoughts you might have while carrying out a routine task like showering, driving, or daydreaming. At their best, shower thoughts are universally relatable and find the amusing or interesting within the mundane. In simplest terms, a shower thought is a miniature epiphany that makes the mundane more interesting. It's an idea that offers people a new way of considering details that they might have otherwise overlooked. Shower thoughts can be funny, poignant, thought-provoking, or even just silly. The term "shower thought" comes from the fact that many of these musings occur to people while they're doing mindless, everyday activities like showering.